It’s on my cheek as I brush my hair. One long, full eyelash. It starts out thick and tapers to a slim curve. I lean closer into the mirror, lick the tip of my finger and remove it.

I wonder what this eyelash might bring me. I don’t doubt its wish fulfillment capabilities, I don’t question how one small shedding from my body will help in exchange of my heart’s some desire being granted. I only pause, chewing my lip, what do I want? What can this errant eyelash give me?

I desire nothing. And yet so much. I want my child to be safe and at peace where he is, continents apart from me. I want to believe in the goodness of a man unafraid of my intensity and candour, an equal romance. I desire to connect with the whole world through my creativity. I desire success in as much as being understood as an artist can yield success (poor Vincent van Gogh). I desire all my friends are visited by joy in the tiniest way from my presence in their lives, I desire my parents seldom get sick, my pets die peaceful deaths, that I travel to many places and meet many crazy people. Super high expectations for one little eyelash, heavier than the mascara it bore.

I close my eyes and whisper to this lash in the bright bathroom, as if shutting out the noise of light will make the wish more concentrated, like a hushed auditorium before the orchestra breaks out Beethoven’s 5th.

Dear Dark One of collagen and hope, grant me the humility to be satisfied with what I already have. Help me to be thankful for a life brimming with people who I love and who love me, with activities I enjoy at my desert doorstep. Let me soak in the grace of each moment I am alive, being funny, being brave, being curious, being kind. Being present. That’s my real desire. Full of sentimental silliness, less constructive than when I started to formulate my list minutes before. I’ve surprised myself, I’m not as greedy as I thought I was.

A gentle puff and it’s gone. Down the drain, onto the cool tiled floor, perhaps back on my skin, making me reabsorb its meaning… who knows. Only the manifestation it carries is of relevance. The prayer imbued in it. The power of an eyelash.

0 comments

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hello! I’m Peri Desai

I’m Peri, welcome to my space. In it you will find stuff that moves me, maddens me, captures my attention, makes me question its truth. You will read what makes me curious, annoyed, energized, joyful, vulnerable.